The Un-Scripted Show Blog

Un-tethered Dragon was inspired by the July 9, 2011 production of The Machine of Death Part One story: Murder and Suicide, Respectively presented by The Un-Scripted Theater Company in San Francisco.

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UN-TETHERED DRAGON – Stacy Mayer and Clay Robeson with Steven Westdahl, Merrill Gruver and The Un-Scripted Theater Company

Charles and Lois are seated in a sea-side café somewhere on Cape Cod.  Lois reads a paper.  Charles is bikini watching, but only half-heartedly, since he’s listening to his wife with the other half.

Lois: Well, if he’s the president, I don’t understand why he can’t just raise the debt ceiling himself.

Charles: Because the government doesn’t work that way, Lois.

Lois: Well it’s a government… it should work. That’s what we pay ‘em for.

Charles: If he could make those kinds of decisions on his own, then this would be a dictatorship or a monarchy or an oligarchy or some other kind of archy-archy.

Lois: I don’t want any archys.

Charles: Why do we always have these discussions while we’re on vacation? Why can’t we have these kinds of discussions at home instead of watching Wheel of Fortune?

Lois: Oh, I’m sorry! Because I’m doing the dishes and making your bed, and let’s see what else… Oh! Picking up my step children from their recitals – you think I didn’t want to have kids myself?

Charles: I got you a really nice SUV.

Lois: It is pretty nice.

Charles: Look, we’re here. We should enjoy ourselves and not debate the crap from the news.

Lois: It is a bunch of crap… look at this, look at this. It says somebody has invented some kind of machine.

Charles: Oh. Here’s my shocked face.

Lois: It’s like Bill Gates.

Charles: Bill Gates invented a machine.

Lois: Yeah.

Charles: Does it, uh, fail a lot?  Turn all blue and tell you you can’t do shit?

Lois: Wait. Wait, that’s uh… no… Bill Gates just bought a new house.

Charles: Is it blue?

Lois: Oh, no, here… this is… uh… The Machine of Death.

Charles: Why would someone invent a Machine of Death?

Lois: I don’t know… do you think the machine could kill people?

Charles: I would hope not, it would be like one of those big doors with the spikey box coffin things… THAT was a Machine of Death.

Lois: Oh my god, yeah, I saw that in the medieval museum!

Charles: I don’t even… Iron Maiden? Is that what they called them?

Lois: Yeah! I think so. It’s like the band.

Charles: They didn’t kill people.

Lois: No. The band didn’t kill people.  I think this MACHINE kills people.

Charles: Why would someone invent that?

Lois: It’s terrible! You know, I should read more than just the headlines.

Charles: You’re so pretty.

Lois: Oh, Charles you’re just sayin’ that because I got a new tan.

Charles: No more papers.

Lois: No more papers.

Charles: Just vacation.

Lois: Just vacation.

Charles: Just vacation.

They smile.

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Lois and Charles stand awkwardly in the marketing lab where Dr. Burke has set up the portable Machine of Death prototype that is soon to be distributed across the country.

Dr. Burke: So you read about the Machine in the paper, did you?

Lois: Well I didn’t read the whole article, but I saw the headline.

Dr. Burke: Well that’s excellent, excellent.  I’m so glad the two of you are in town on vacation during this, our very first public open beta testing of the Machine of Death.

Lois: This is going to be the best vacation ever, honey!

Dr. Burke: Now, you’re names were Charles and Lois, yes?

Lois: Yes, I’m Lois.

Dr. Burke: Yes, yes you are.  And you totally understand how the machine works, you don’t get a time, or a date, you just get the cause.

Lois: The cause?

Dr. Burke: The cause of death, understand?

Lois: So you pick someone that you want to die…

Dr. Burke: No, darling, this is your own death.

Lois: Oh, I don’t want to die!

Charles: No, no, no…

Lois: Um…

Dr. Burke: That’s the one thing we all have in common, though, isn’t it Lois?

Lois: Death and taxes!

Dr. Burke: Not everyone pays taxes, though.  But until we invent the Immortality Machine and begin selling it to people like you, well, we’ll have to settle for the Machine of Death.

Charles raises his hand.

Dr. Burke: Yes, Charles?

Charles: Can we get in on the Immortality Machine beta instead of the Death beta…

Dr. Burke: Well, I know it’s a sticky term, Death… we don’t like the way it sounds in our ear because it reminds us of our mortality—We’re testing a couple other names for the machine, but for right now Machine of Death seems to be working pretty good.  Now, I know you’re eager… which one of you wants to try it out first?

Charles: She does.

Lois: I don’t want to die!

Dr. Burke: Lois… you’re not going to die, darling, it hardly stings at all, just a little pin prick, I promise.

Lois: All right…

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Another café, another conversation about politics, another weary sigh from Charles.

Lois: Does the president have to pay taxes?

Charles:  Of course he does.

Lois:  Couldn’t he just fix the books?

Charles:  No I don’t think he could fix the books Lois.

Lois:  What about the Queen?  Does she pay taxes?

Charles: Yes

Lois: Why don’t you ever take me anywhere exciting?  All we ever do is drive to Cape Cod, year after year.  I think this new death machine is probably the most exciting thing that’s ever happened to us on a vacation.

Charles:  We’ve been married 22 years, what do you expect?  A trip to China?

Lois suddenly looks extremely frightened.

Lois: Oh no!  Not China!  Charles, anywhere but China!

Charles: Okay.  Not China.

Lois calms, but still fidgets with the newspaper.  Charles watches her curiously for a moment.

Charles: Why not China?  Not that I’m promising you a trip!  But… why not China?

Lois puts the paper down and wrings her hands.

Lois:  I’m gonna to be eatin’ by a dragon some day.  So Cape Cod will be just fine for vacation.

Charles: You’re not going to be eaten by a dragon.

Lois: But that’s what it said.  Dr Burke said the machine is never wrong.

Charles: Lois. The card you got said “Un-tethered Dragon.”  So… even if there WERE dragons, we’d just need to keep you away from any that were—what am I saying?  There’s no such thing as dragons, and even if there were, some stupid little scanner can’t possible know that one was going to eat you.

Lois:  People get eatin’ by dragons all the time in Harry Potter.

Charles sighs.

Charles:  Good thing they’re done making those movies, then.

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Dr. Nelson and Aunt Peggy stand in a park in the shadow of a bridge. Aunt Peggy points upwards.

Aunt Peggy:  You’ve given me the best gift you could give and now I’m trying to return the favor to you. I want you to listen. I want to give you some advice. Two months ago I thought I was going to die of cancer.  But then I stuck my hand in your machine and it told me I was going to die “by bridge.”  Don’t you see? I have a choice.  Jumping is free will.  I can choose when I am going to die, Sidney.

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Charles and Lois are driving.

Lois:  Charles! Pull Over.

Charles:  I can’t pull over Lois.  We’re on a bridge.

Lois:  Just pull over.  I want to take a picture.

Charles:  Can’t you just take one through the window?

Lois:  No Charles.  It’ll be too blurry.  Just pull over.

Charles sighs and pulls the car over.  Lois gets out, leaving her door open.  Charles remains in the car.

Lois:  Oh my Gawd!  Have you ever seen so many kites?

Charles:  Yeah Lois...  It’s amazing…  Now get back in the car. 

Lois:  But they’re all so different!  So many different colors!  And shapes! There’s a box one, and there’s one that looks like a fish!  And look at that big red one!  It’s like a salamander or something.

Charles looks out the passenger side of the car.  His eyes grow wide.

Charles: Lois, get back in the car.

Lois: I don’t know how the wind doesn’t just yank those strings out of their hands.

Charles: Lois! Get in the car!!

Lois climbs up on the bridge railing in order to get a better shot of the kites.

Lois: The salamander is coming this way, I just want one more picture!!

Charles: LOIS!

The red dragon kite comes free from its operator’s grip and hurtles skyward, directly towards Lois.  As it passes her, the large spool holding yards upon yards of kite string catches her on the back side of her head and she topples forward off the bridge and down… down towards Aunt Peggy who stands below defiantly.

The End

This show is a hidden mammoth undertaking, what with wrangling playwright submissions, and taking into account the number of characters in each play (cause they're all different!) and the individual schedules of the playwrights and the actors . . . it's a big job! Major kudos to Alan Goy, literary manager, and Susan Snyder, assistant literary manager, for doing the crazy math. AND to Clay Robeson, producer, for wrangling the staff support. (Incidentally, if you'd like to be a front-of-house volunteer for a night or two, it means you get to see the show for FREE! Contact us via the web form and let us know.)

We're drawing in on our first week of performances, and the cast is so so delightfully talented that I just can't wait. And since Alan and Susan have been dealing with the play submissions, I as the director have only the vaguest of notions what's coming to us from script-land; every show is really going to be a delightful surprise!

Below, check out whose first scenes we'll be reading, when! And you can totally buy your tickets right now. See you at the theater!

 

The Playwrights' Schedule, Unveiled:

Week 1:
Thursday, July 7: Dan Wilson
Friday, July 8: Annette Roman
Saturday, July 9: Ryan North / David Malki !

 

Week 2:
Thursday, July 14: Larry Williams
Friday, July 15: Paul Braverman
Saturday, July 16: Steven Westdahl

Week 3:
Thursday, July 21: Lauren Yee
Friday, July 22: Diana DiCostanzo
Saturday, July 23: Eliza Gale

Week 4:
Thursday, July 28: Marissa Skudlarek
Friday, July 29: Emily Esner
Saturday, July 30: Garret Groenveld

Week 5:
Thursday, August 4: Jonathan Luskin
Friday, August 5: Mercedes Segesvary
Saturday, August 6: Andrew Hungerford

Week 6:
Thursday, August 11: Daniel Heath
Friday, August 12: Bennett Fisher
Saturday, August 13: Tim Bauer

Week 7:
Thursday, August 18: Amy Roeder
Friday, August 19: Nicole Brodsky & Dana Lomax
Saturday, August 20: Jill Weinberger

Issue #7 - 4/7/11 - The Fires of Broadway

Mandy's character is a lonesome mathematical child, who grows up to become the most competent accountant in the tri-state area. To break her out of her shell, her mysterious uncle Puce (Michael) takes her under his wing. She auditions for a bit part in the theater, and ends up with the lead, opposite handsome Richard (Aaron) (secretly Maestro, a superhero seeking the quiet life). Meanwhile, Mia's character, similarly alone and raised by servants, desperately seeks to buy herself closer to stardom, even with a single snail from Mr. Abernathy (Greg)'s Snail Circus. Thwarted and jealous of Maestro's costar, she begins burning theaters and kidnapping artists and writers until there's only one theater left on Broadway - and THEN she moves in for the kill. But these two girls are more alike than they realize, and can Uncle Puce REALLY see the future? Everyone will have to give the performance of a lifetime -- just to stay alive.

 

Issue #8 - 4/8/2011 - Something Swedish This Way Comes

Keith (Greg) has a mechanical, withdrawn life working at Ikea until he meets Penny (Melissa), a needy lawyer. All seems quantifiably well with their blossoming relationship until his acrophobic* friend Roger (Paul) builds a prototype windowless apartment with fake sunshine that drives the test family insane--infuriating boss Mr. Walliver (Bryce). Walliver forces Keith to fire his own friend from the Scandinavian Super Store. And adding fuel to the blaze: Penny reveals to him that she can cook chicken with her bare hands using her powers as Phoenix. Roger (as Napoleon) plots revenge on Keith and company, killing Mr. Walliver, and trapping Keith, Phoenix, and sidekick Rachel "The Ornithologist" (Mandy) at Waterloo beneath the sea... will Keith learn to trust his heroine girlfriend before it's too late for everyone? *Acrophobia: fear of heights

 

Issue #9 - 4/9/2011 - Bears Gone Berserk

Young Henry (Michael) led a peaceful life -- until puberty, when strange forces began to amass in him that he couldn't control. A gentle pat on the back accidentally kills his grandma, and he flees to New York to live with Dad -- who, unbeknownst to Henry, is a crime kingpin known as The Chieftain (Bryce). When the Chieftain ends up in jail, Henry channels his own strength under the tutelage of capricious housekeeper Ms. Horne (Susan), and becomes The Grizzly. He drafts a sidekick, ex-bicycle messenger The Cub (Aaron), and builds an empire of crime-fighting, pursuing Good to offset his father's Evil. He even tries to woo his father's efficient ex-secretary, Albert (Greg). But the Grizzly -- and his father -- both have ancient Berserker blood running through their veins, and though The Chieftain knew when to stop, his son had gone too far. Though The Grizzly foiled his own father's evil plot, he'd already given in to his powers and jumped over the edge . . . where indeed is the line between good and evil?

Issue #1 - 3/24/11 - Cleveland Howls

The nefarious "The Paw" (Merrill) and her pet, "X" (Amber) hatch an evil scheme to kidnap and then turn all the pets in Cleveland against their owners. But Cleveland’s Mayor is too ineffective to do anything about the vanishing animals despite constant goading from budding reporter Laura (Mandy). When X tries to turn mayoral intern Bernie (Paul) into a mole in city hall, he finds himself entangled in The Paw’s nefarious plans, and his own dog Duke suffers the same fate as all of Cleveland’s furry friends. But with the help of "Tornado Dude" (Michael) with his powers over wind and weather, and his sidekick "Gryphon" (Mia) who can sense the emotions of animals, Bernie attempts to thwart The Paw, rescue Laura, and find Duke.

Issue #2 - 3/25/2011 - Rise of the Fisher

Just an infant when her mother suddenly died, Heather (Amber) always knew there was something a little different about her. Her tutor in a small Tennessee commune, Brother Hezekiah (Bryce) believed it too - though many thought he was crazy as he prepared her for the coming of The Fisher, one of many beings from beyond our world who need human beings to act as hosts for their nefarious plans. When Brother Hezekiah dies, it’s up to Heather, her astronaut true love Skip (Greg), and their unexpected super-ally Pegasus (Mia) to rescue the innocent man possessed by The Fisher (Clay).

Issue #3 - 3/26/2011 - The Spiders of Lornsville

Jacob Cartwright (Alex) was a brilliant child, constantly outshining young Laura Campbell (Mia) and her best friend Helen Vermbach (Mandy) all the way from 5th grade through post doctoral work at Harvard. Laura’s infatuation with Jacob goes a bit overboard when, at the Post Doctoral Science Fair, she attempts to present genetically modified, super-venomous arachnids in order to outshine him. When Professor Robert Solace (Aaron) [Also secretly the herbalogically empowered "The Chia" (retired)] strips her of her research position and expels her from Harvard, Laura releases the arachnid that changes her into "The Spider." Commanding her spider minions to attack and mutate the population of North America, not even the President is safe. With the help of the mysterious Mahogany Ohio (Michael) and the un-retired "The Chia" Jacob finds himself in the middle of a fight to save not only the world, but the woman he didn’t even know he loved.