Bollywood Movie of the Week? Bas Ek Pal

JUST for those of you who might be thinking that I love every Bollywood movie I see . . . is this movie. Which, I have to say, was terrible. Boy oh boy. Mountain View Library! You have failed me in this!

Bas Ek Pal, 2006

Directed and Written by: Onir (why, Onir? Why? Wherefore hast thou wrought such a film?)

Produced by: Manohar P. Kanungo, Shailesh R. Singh

Starring: Juhi Chawla, Urmila Matondkar, Jimmy Shergill, Sanjay Suri, Rehaan Engineer, Yashpal Sharma

Do you see the photo at left? This is the cover under which I rented this film. Would you expect that in a film advertised with such an image -- look! Pink! dancing! smiling! happy-ness! -- most of the film would be concerned with domestic violence, prison rape, broken friendships and weird, creepy revenge?

No. I did not either.

The *concept* for the story is *sort* of interesting, if I tell it to you in words. (And since you're probably not going to watch it, or care if I spoil it, I will this time!) Bas Ek Pal means, cavalierly translated by me, "One Moment is Enough." Nikhil (Sanjay Suri) has returned to India from college in Boston, determined to settle back down to a hip Mumbai life -- though he's going through some culture shock. HowEVER, at a club, he meets a girl and becomes obsessed with her. She refused to tell him her name, so he starts repeatedly showing up there in hopes of meeting her again. The next time they meet, he's with friends and she's with a boyfriend -- a boyfriend with a GUN! Yelling! Fighting! And in one ill-timed split second: Shooting -- doh! Nikhil's best friend Rahul (Jimmy Shergill) is shot! From a gun that was in Nikhil's hand!

Nikhil, fresh from the USA, goes to horrible, developing-world jail. There are totally creepy dudes there. (Including an unexpectedly welcome creepy dude: Yashpal Sharma, playing "Swamy" -- he was a low-level bad guy in both Lagaan and Aaja Nachle. This is how weird the movie was -- I was happy to see a BADGUY I recognized.) No one will help poor Nikhil, including his relatives and the friends who were present at the shooting incident. Commence the languishing in prison and the working-out montages.

Fast-forward some large amount of time. He's out! He's free! He's got a badass goatee! But his friends don't want to see him anymore, the chick he was obsessed with--the dream that sustained him through his horrible prison sentence--is engaged to his sad now-paraplegic friend, and basically his life sucks.

So what does Nikhil do? Why, helplessly stalk her because he's got nothing left. Meanwhile Rahul blames him for his new disability, but he's secretly afraid the chick just pities him, not loves him. Creepy love-triangle things commence.

AND, their creepy alcoholic friend Steve (really, people? Steve?) is not only alcoholic but also an abuser -- and there are revealed some love-triangle things happening on THAT front, involving his wife.

Stalking! Attacking! Domestic violence! Blood! Murder! Boy, it really makes you think of two people dancing, doesn't it?

Now, this story on its own has the potential to be . . . at least an OKAY film, right? The idea of a guy taken straight from Boston to an Indian prison for a crime he didn't commit -- that has some pull, right? The idea that one ill-conceived moment can throw your life *radically* off course has SOME merit, right?

ExCEPT that this film managed to execute this story in the world's most shallow, creepy, unfeeling way possible. And the dream woman, the instant mystery, the comfort in times of sorrow -- she's played as the most plastic, languid, artificial, Barbie-tastic girl I've ever seen. Even her crying/whimpering/emotional sounds (there's a lot of crying in this movie) are afterdubbed -- DUBBED! as if she couldn't quite swing it on set -- and it STILL sounds horribly acted. Urmila Matondkar -- this was not the role for you.

This movie started out plastic and unaffecting and just got . . . weirder and weirder. Note to filmmakers: surprising suspenseful events close to the end of the movie, especially those involving guns and/or shooting people, should NOT make me laugh out loud.

Not one character was really likeable -- OK, the main character was pretty likeable in the beginning. And then he became a CREEPY STALKER. Why on earth anyone would fall immediately in love with the Barbie chick, let alone this guy, is pretty unfathomable. So then the irrationally passionate language he would use to describe her, coupled with the crazy desperate way he was spying on her, and her DUBBED CRYING, combine for a Gale-Force Weirdness from No-Sense Town. (And she appeared ickily older than he was, because she was so plastic -- it was like the world's youngest cougar.) Everything about the movie is slightly skeevy; the setting, the acting, the club, the music, the actors, the relationships, the dialogue, the people's names (STEVE?), the listless way they would drift through their lives and languidly betray and/or attempt to kill each other -- after the movie I was left feeling like I needed to take a shower. (And no, not in a good way.) Those creepy dudes from prison were like a breath of fresh AIR, next to the halfhearted main characters!

And, get this -- after this tirade of creepy, including betrayal, stalking, double-stalking, and bloody murder -- there's a HAPPY ENDING. I KNOW, right? What? From whence came you, o happy ending?

Yeesh. I can't even show you a clip because no one likes this film well enough to post it to YouTube. So let us all now, instead, think of rainbows. Rainbows!

See, I CAN hate a Bollywood film. So you really should see the ones I like, right? ;o)


RAINBOWS!

Bollywood Movie of the Week: SHOLAY

The box claims it's "The greatest story ever told!" Shall we believe it?

Sholay, 1975

Directed by: Ramesh Sippy

Produced by: G.P. Sippy

Starring: Dharmendra, Amitabh Bachchan, Sanjeev Kumar, Hema Malini, Jaya Bhaduri, Amjad Khan, Asrani

It's Kinda Like: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid meets The Seven Samurai . . . with hints of Paint Your Wagon (cowboy action heroes singing?) It's heavily influenced by Sergio Leone's spaghetti westerns, and apparently there are hints of Peckinpah as well. (This is in the genre of films referred to sometimes as "curry westerns." Ha ha.)

I gotta say, sometimes Bollywood film covers are really misleading. I've seen posters for Sholay often, and it looks like a crazy bloodthirsty epic blockbuster action film. I mean, look at it: Guns! Awesome dudes fighting! Grunting! Grimaces! . . . but then it had this song fairly early in it!



A partial translation of this song's lyrics is as follows, according to bollywoodlyrics.com:

We will not break this friendship
I may break my strength, but I will not leave your side.
Oh, my victory is your victory, your loss is my loss
Listen, oh my friend
Your pain is my pain, my life is your life
That is how our love is.

Awwwwww!

Sholay is a pretty famous-slash-infamous film; released in 1975, its original run lasted for five years (ten? the internet disagrees with itself; confirmation not found in brief search) -- it was the highest-grossing Indian film to date and may still be,* and it was also the longest-running.** (You can see posters for Sholay in the background of Om Shanti Om, which I recognized, even though I'd never seen Sholay at that point. Just one more reason to see it!) It helped launch the career of the uberfamous Amitabh "The Big B" Bachchan (known to western audiences as the movie star idolized by the hero in Slumdog Millionaire), and Amjad Khan, and is generally referred to as a pop culture landmark.

Jai, the serious one (Amitabh) and Veeru, the funny one (Dharmendra) are our heroes, cheerful yet brave outlaws hired by an ex-cop (who had once arrested them) to carry out an important task. Thakur Baldev Singh (Sanjeev Kumar) needs their help to capture a notorious, psychotic bandit chief, Gabbar Singh (Amjad Khan), who commmitted a horrible crime against the Thakur and his family. (Sholay means "Embers," referring to the Thakur's slow-burning rage.)

Not knowing quite what to expect, not even the plotline -- I sincerely enjoyed it! It's truly a Western done by Bollywood, with very strong elements from both worlds. Some might argue that that makes it a weird, incongruous film -- but who cares about those people? ;o) Indeed, the film started out as a flop at the box office before its subsequent surge of audience, quite possibly because of its juxtaposed elements.

The Western stuff is really in-genre: the film's first big event is a train robbery, for example. And the film's style feels very modern and "artsy": the editing is creative and effective (and the shots aren't tooooo loooooooong, my big problem with 70s movies), and the stylistic choices of freezeframe and slow motion are taken from Leone and Peckinpah films. The score, too, is inspired by those spaghetti western scores, with non-musical sounds creating an affecting emotional soundscape (like in the flashback scene where Thakur relates what Gabbar Singh did: the creaky swing! Ouughhh, the creaky swing!).

But there's also some good old Bollywood comedy -- Bollywood films are long enough for two movies, after all -- it's a little like a spaghetti western meets a Hope/Crosby Road picture, for all the antics our heroes go through. They spend a very brief time in jail in the charge of a jailer who's doing Charlie Chaplin in The Little Dictator; they flirt with the local sassy chick; they exchange witty repartee; they flip a coin to make important decisions.

Yet the pendulum swings both ways. The comedy made me *actually* laugh, and it's sprinkled throughout the film, not sequestered in the first half. The water tower scene where a thwarted, drunken Veeru threatens to jump off is genuinely funny. (Have you ever heard someone in a movie who's threatening to commit suicide actually *yell* "Suuuuuuiiciiiiiiiiide!") And still, while remaining largely bloodless in that surreal slightly-comic classic film manner (how does one die from a gunshot that results in neither blood nor any visible wound?) the acting, the editing, and the sound design make Gabbar Singh's violent acts truly upsetting. (If you think children and animals are by definition safe, my friend, you are WRONG.) The film aims for both extremes -- and hits both targets.

Though influences from Leone's films are clear, the film felt a lot like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid to me, complete with the sense of a smooth surface of comedy covering an ocean of dread. The heroes' interaction is genuinely warm and funny, and even their lazy banter is touching, especially when compared to the stark white widow and the frozen, glaring Thakur. Plus, the culture clash, like in Butch Cassidy, gives the film an extra kick of the surreal. Butch and Sundance travel from the US through New York City to a tiny village in Bolivia; it feels like two modern guys trapped in a nightmare of the past; the film is set in the early 1900s but their costumes (and that rockin' stache) definitely say sixties:



Compare with this photo of Jai and Veeru; similar, eh? Except in their case the culture clash is even more extreme: this movie is set in the PRESENT (1970s). Our heroes are dressed in a white leisure suit and jeans, respectively. They talk about driving cars. Some of the bad guys have machine guns. YET, the train robbery at the beginning is by bandits on horseback with rifles, and the Thakur's village is all dust and tribal clothing. Again, modern guys thrust into a timeless, basal, rural world.


Some Catty Film Criticism: The film looks so much like a Western that my roommate and I, both from Southern California, would have *sworn* it was filmed in the Mojave desert -- exCEPT that it was filmed near Bangalore. We can therefore no longer be cynical about movies filming in "clearly" cheap California locations -- maybe they really ARE in Tunisia! Also, wow, the buildings look so much like all those Spanish mission-style backlot towns where they stage cheesy gunfights -- sloping tiled roofs, low two-story buildings, guys getting shot and toppling off of balconies . . . talk about authentic Western. (And without giving anything away: though the *idea* of the final fight is Noble and Awesome, actually *watching* it is kinda high-larious. Good choice to have him leave the blanket on for most of the movie, I say.)

The Verdict: A classic film that's not just a historical curiosity, but also genuinely enjoyable! The genre blending is fascinating in how the different kinds of stories (revenge western vs. buddy film vs. romance) tie each other up; there's an ending for everyone.


* Apparently now there's a controversy about whether earnings from 3 Idiots have surpassed those of Sholay. Drama!


**(Sholay's record was eclipsed eventually by Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge, which opened in 1995 and was still running continuously as of Oct. 2009.)

Bollywood Movie of the Week: Salaam Namaste

The Mountain View library seems to have someone actually curating their Hindi movie collection . . . at least, all the ones I check out from there seem to have some extra social value . . . support your local library! This movie was not just an adorable comedy, it was also a look at the immigrant experience of community in a foreign country.

Salaam Namaste, 2005

Directed by: Siddharth Anand

Produced by: Aditya Chopra, Yash Chopra

Starring: Saif Ali Khan, Preity Zinta, Arshad Warsi, Tania Zaetta

It's Kinda Like: a brief "secret identity" movie becomes a "getting to know you for REALS" movie becomes a slapstick comedy. (ugh, apparently it's a partial remake of Nine Months? It has more of the flavor of Knocked Up.)

Like I said, this is a cheeky modern comedy -- but it's also a sideways look at the experience of the Indian diaspora. Sassy, huh? The characters are all Indian expats living in Melbourne -- and interestingly, none of the plotline involves coming from India, going to India, or characters who live in India. We don't meet anyone's parents, children, or siblings. Everyone is on their own in Melbourne living a new life. We find out in brief narrated slideshows what brought each character there, and it's different for everyone -- it's also not always brought up again, which is a fun twist. We catch a glimpse into someone's backstory, and then that's all we hear about it; it serves to color our experience of that character rather than to advance the plot. (Color, not advance -- I love it!)

What holds this community together, then, if not families? Why, the radio! The film's title comes from the radio station and morning show where the main character Ambar (Preity Zinta) works. Her show involves interviewing Melbourne's successful Indian businesspeople, in order to inspire the community in general. As the film opens, we see her on the radio, and we see her listeners, too, in their own environments, performing mostly solitary activities: bagging groceries, doing the housework, exercising with headphones, cutting hair in a salon. As she speaks, we see them all react, as though they're together -- even though they're all, separately, alone.

(It was interesting to watch this movie since I sometimes listen to the local Indian AM station, which is lots of fun. The call-in portion of any show is really important, and they have shows for all kinds of things: wanna sell your car? get advice from a dentist? share health tips? discuss your investments? Plus they play Bollywood music new and old. It's a fascinating cultural experience: for interested parties in the Bay Area, it's KLOK 1170AM.)

Against this backdrop of the big-yet-small town, our heroine meets (or rather, doesn't meet) our hero: Nick, aka Nikhil Arora (Saif Ali Khan). While Ambar is precise and exacting--she's studying to be a surgeon, after all--Nick is an easygoing chef. We can tell what he thinks of himself, from the obvious touches -- get your tickets to the freezeframe gun show! -- check those Superman boxers and the bright red car! -- to the slightly-less-obvious: he's listening to a song from Dhoom (often-referenced action-movie franchise) in the car.

They *don't* meet in the sense that, because of his problems with getting up on time, he misses his radio interview, causing her to spew vitriol over the airwaves for days, trying to ruin his reputation. (Of course, the restaurant he cooks for is called "Nick of Time." Ha ha.) They have several entertaining yelling matches over the phone about this, causing apoplexies for both their bosses but hilarity for Nick and his friend -- and glee for radio listeners everywhere.

The tagline for the movie is "Let's get to know each other," which happens in two ways, in the way that many Bollywood movies contain both the film and its own sequel. The first "film" is the type of romantic comedy with "dual identities," a la You've Got Mail (sorry Meg Ryan haters, it's the only one I could think of in the moment): the main characters hate each other in one context, and fall in love as strangers in another.

Like the more modern-y films, lots of Salaam Namaste's songs serve as voiceover instead of dance music -- but here's one number where they actually dance (not genius choreography). Our stars have met for what they *think* is the first time, and you'll also see Nick's comic-relief friend Ron (Arshad Warsi), a guy who's only recently discovered women, and is desperately terrible at figuring them out (the first time we meet him, he's chatting up what we can all see is a hooker -- why a hooker would be in the suburbs is another question altogether). And in this clip they're all at an event featured in lots of Bollywood movies as an excuse to get people together: a wedding. Cause, in Australia, doesn't every wedding end in ripping off your clothes and running into the water?



Their hidden identities are revealed pretty fast, and then we get to the *real* plot of the film, the Racy Part. I'll let the adorable stars themselves explain. This gives you an idea of the film's feel and comedy style (this film even has bloopers in the credits, which seems *totally* American-comedy to me).



Aren't they cute? Yes, that's right -- they said "living together." They've fallen in sort-of love, and Nick urges that they should live together -- in separate rooms, of course. Then the getting-to-know-you proceeds apace. Something I've touted about Bollywood before: they have enough screen and story time to show you the roundness of their characters. Nick may have trouble waking up in the morning, but he's no slouch: he's an exacting cook and a neat freak. Ambar's the messy one, though a good decorator; she does, though, have a tendency to yell at him kind of a lot. We see the good times AND the bad, and they're not just comedy-bad, but upsetting-bad.

Because -- scandal! Not only is there *onscreen kissing* in this movie, BUT what you might expect of the logical results of living together. If it's a movie, at least. See if you can figure out what that is:



Scandal! And no, they are NOT married in the above clip. Scandal!

Because they're miles away from their parents, all the characters have to figure out what's going on, as it were, for themselves. A disparate community, all in Melbourne for different reasons, they have to support themselves and each other. They have to be their own family, or make new ones out of the people around them. That also means they have to get to know each other as individuals; they can't be thrown together by the social family structure, they have to find each other in the city and make the effort. Because the concept of Tradition doesn't really play into this film, on the surface at least; it's a modern story in a modern city, about people figuring out how to be modern.

The reasons for moving to Melbourne, revealed in the lightning-flash narrations (voice -- and cameo slapstick -- provided by Abhishek Bachchan!) are a fascinating range of types, from all places in India, from all walks of life, for all reasons. There are those who came in order to consciously forge a new path, following their dreams. We have Ambar, who came on a one-year student exchange program and decided to stay, escaping any number of arranged marriages. We have Nick, who came to go to architecture school as his dad wanted, and ended up following his dream to be a chef. We have Ambar's fellow med student Jignesh (played by Jugal Hansraj), who's a terrible student but just wanted to escape being a sari salesman all his life.

Then there are those characters who are more swept along by the winds of fate: they've changed locations, but their basic personality continues on. There's Nick's restauranteur boss, who went from being a small-scale glutton in India to a large-scale one in Melbourne: new job, character essentially unchanged. There's Ambar's boss, loud-voiced drama queen and chronic hummer, who just wants someone to ask him to sing on the radio. And my personal comedy-relief favorite: Nick and Ambar's landlord (Jaaved Jaffrey), a once-poor, shiftess nobody who won the lottery and has OVERassimilated into Australian society, while remaining essentially the same dirtbag he ever was. "I WAS Indian. WAS," he says. "NOW I'm Australian." Food for thought, eh? ;o) Here's part of his award-winning comic performance:



(Jeez, he looks like a tan Dave Gardner. Who is probably no one you know. But dude, it totally looks like him. Especially with the sideburns. Just sayin'.)

This movie, I must confess, actually made me laugh to the point that I almost sprayed my laptop with my beverage. The side characters are really well done: sometimes clownishly exaggerated, but with committed acting that doesn't feel too over-the-top "winky." They believe themselves. And they're well-balanced by our heroes' self-determined "normality." We're all just trying to live our lives, right? We're all normal to ourselves . . .

The Verdict: A fresh-feeling comedy, with appealing stars, good acting, hilarious side characters, and a hint of modern social dilemma. Me likee!

An American Bollywood? The Pirate

SOMEone had to get the Netflix queue moving again, right? So upon returning some sadly languishing Bollywood films (that's what Netflix is FOR, roommates -- you can get it again later if you *actually* want to watch it) I received The Pirate and The Party, both of which I'd forgotten were in the queue. I can't wait to watch The Party again; it's a Peter Sellars mostly-silent comedy gem. Last night I watched The Pirate, though, and it struck me that it feels like one of those films that would have traveled to India and separately evolved into Bollywood, Galapagos-style. So I'll present it here as if it was a Bollywood-style review!

The Pirate, 1948

Directed by: Vincente Minelli

Produced by: Arthur Freed

Starring: Gene Kelly, Judy Garland

Songs by: Cole Porter

I'd seen this movie before, and already knew I liked it; Gene Kelly plays a flamboyant, unabashed womanizer and Judy Garland plays a sassy-yet-practical ingenue, and their relationship is filled with both highfalutin' poetic language and very direct cheeky banter. They have a very egalitarian relationship, where they each antagonize the other, and both are thrown off-balance. Only upon a re-viewing did I realize that their relationship, as well as the film as a whole, shares a lot of characteristics with (at least modern) Bollywood films.

There are some things that are different; this is clearly filmed on one set, two TOPS, and might as well be a play. (Indeed, it was based on a Broadway hit of the same name.) The sets are so similar that frankly, it's really confusing where they are at any given time. BUT, the production design shows great attention to detail, and the costumes and dance numbers are, if not entirely over the top, tightly constructed and designed. (They *might* be period-correct, it's hard to say. But the costumes certainly have *commitment.* Oh, those fabulous hats! Oh, those giant skirts! Anne Shirley would be jealous at the size of the puffed sleeves . . . ) The film has been described as a "cult favorite" and was kind of a box office flop, and that may be because it doesn't feel as expansive and lavish as other Hollywood musicals -- but, in the featurette, they describe this film as the culmination of the MGM musical style.

And because it's purportedly the pinnacle of the genre, it has a lot of elements in one concentrated film that feel a lot like staples that Bollywood has embraced. Romance, comedy, sarcasm, dream ballet, fire -- all in one film! Just like Bollywood! It's at once a romantic swashbuckler AND a parody of itself, both on purpose. It was made in the late 40s, but it feels uncommonly modern in some ways, like it's looking right back at you. Maybe that's why critics say it was ahead of its time . . .



Set sometime in the 1600s in the Caribbean (which is itself hilarious: NO ONE makes any pretense to speak in any way like the Spaniards that they purportedly are), the film opens with Judy Garland as Manuela (which the hilarious Americans consistently pronounce "Man-you-ELL-a"), lamenting to her friends about wanting to travel the world, and waxing romantic about Mack "the Black" Macoco, the legendary pirate. Soon her aunt comes to tell her that she's betrothed to Don Pedro, the rotund, middle-aged mayor of the town. (So in Bollywood scorekeeping we have: Young, smart girl -- check. Gaggle of friends -- check. Meddling matchmaker aunt -- check. Overly comic (he's so tiny!) uncle -- check. Fat, rich guy to marry -- check! Agreeing to marry said rich guy because you're a good girl -- check!)

Because Manuela (or Man-you-ELL-a) is a practical girl, she acquiesces -- BUT she desperately longs to see the rest of the Caribbean before she settles down, since Don Pedro (the only "ethnic" actor in the film, and he's clearly GERMAN) has already seen the world and wants no more of it. They all agree that she can make one trip to the ocean (What? she lives in the Caribbean! What?) and come back.

Enter Our Hero, Serafin (played by Gene Kelly in what I suspect is the only role where we get to see what his hair actually looks like!) -- a devil-may-care actor hopped up on ego-juice. Kelly is playing a real character in this film: cocky to the end; no core of "boy next door" as in his other films. (His entrance, cheekily hopping atop a rising load of cargo to address the crowd, really felt like a Bollywood hero's entrance to me, like Shahrukh Khan in . . . almost every film, like when he rides into town on a motorcycle through fire in Billu Barber.)

During his cocky jaunt about town, he sings a song about how there are too many women to remember their names, so he calls them all "Niña" (interestingly, his explanation of why doesn't include the fact that Niña means "daughter" or "little girl," most likely because No One Involved With This Movie Spoke Spanish). It's a fun dance number, with some amazing acrobatics and even some pole dancing! Kelly, lithe and sassy, is really showing off. (And check out his hilarious Douglas Fairbanks moustache! Sassy!)



The song, like all of them in the film, is by Cole Porter, king of the double entendre and the clever rhyme. And in "Niña" like several of the songs in the film, Porter walks an interesting lyrical line between playful and naughty -- the rhythms and the words are very colloquial, so that somehow they come off as *too* sincere, not hidden enough by poetry -- as in the repetition of "till I make ya mine, till I make ya -- till I make ya mine till I make ya mine till I make ya mine . . . " (They actually had to CUT the number "Voodoo" from this film because it was too sexy! How I'd love to see that . . .) Otherwise, the song *itself* -- like many in the film (sorry, Cole!) is really kind of stupid. (But again! Just like Bollywood! It's become a semi-disposable number that's an excuse to stage a flirty dance!)

Of course, when Serafin sees Manyouuuuelllla for the first time, boom he falls straight in love, and gives her all his swashbucklingly best romantic lines. And delightfully, she gets really annoyed and replies as any really practical girl might. Again, almost *too* direct and colloquial. I love it! She pokes right back! (Improvisors, take note: banter banter banter!)



And then it's the typical story, right? Girl leaves boy, boy follows girl with his acting troupe, boy hypnotizes girl during stage act, girl spontaneously creates song-and-dance number . . .

I think this song epitomizes how fantastically un-seriously this movie actually takes itself.
"Mack the Black! From the CaribBEan,
Mack the Black --
or Car -RIB -bean sea."


From the information gleaned from this hypnotism stunt, Serafin decides to BE the pirate (elaborately comic misrepresentation -- check!) in order to stop the wedding (chick in her wedding outfit really early in the film -- check!). There's even tightrope walking involved! Scandal! Plus, there's a dream ballet (thank you, Oklahoma!) involving lots of cool fire and explosions, implied danger, and Gene Kelly dancing with weapons in piratical hot pants. Whooo! I hope you're sitting down, ladies. (I notice whoever titled this YouTube video likely agrees.)


But of course, the secret won't last, and she gets reeeeely mad when she finds out. Fantastically throwing-plates mad. It's a great scene -- and again, has almost-too-real dialogue. Banter! I love it!

So then what? Will he still be able to pull it off and convince her to go with him? What of the REAL Macoco? Who exactly is in danger now? Will there be more singing and dancing? You will FIND OUT, my friend. You will find OUT.

This movie is also the origin of that famously ripped-off song "Be a Clown," which appears only thinly disguised, though in a MUCH better version of itself, as "Make 'Em Laugh" in that *slightly* more famous Kelly vehicle Singing in the Rain. Which, in turn, is a film paid homage to by Bollywood in the movie Om Shanti Om. Aha! Evolution proooooved!

Verdict: I quite enjoy this film. It's got that double-tone I enjoy that Bollywood does so well: both a swashbuckling romance and a parody of one at the same time. It has great dancing and sassy banter, with two consummate performers showing off their skills and being irreverent with each other. It's a wink through history. What more could you want? Join the club of cult-musical fans and see The Pirate.

Bollywood Movie of the New Year: 3 Idiots

Whew! Fresh off a New Year, a birthday, and a whole lot of things. Happy New Year, everyone!

Here's a brand-new Bollywood film for the new year, as well. I just got home from seeing it (Fun Fact: If you live in the Bay Area, at least, you can see new Bollywood movies at an AMC near you!) and it was both fun and appropriate for the aforementioned occasions, even!

And it's always great to go see a Bollywood film in a packed house (the first showing was soooold out and I had to hang around for a couple hours to buy tickets for the next -- it *just* opened.). It's like going to see the melodrama: people clap when great things happen, and gasp when terrible things happen, and laugh in great waves at all the funny stuff--AND the accidentally funny stuff. Even when you're all by yourself, as I always am at these places, it feels like you're seeing it with a bunch of friends. (And I've never seen more kids at a movie, and that includes you, Disney. And yes, they were mostly Extremely Quiet.)

[eta: Xeni Jardin did a review of this movie as well, on BoingBoing, located here. Interesting to see the similarities!]

3 Idiots, 2009

Directed by: Rajkumar Hirani (who also directed Lage Raho Munna Bhai)

Produced by: Vidhu Vinod Chopra

Starring: Aamir Khan, R. Madhavan, Sharman Joshi, Kareena Kapoor, Boman Irani, Omi Vaidya

It's Kinda Like: a little Dead Poets' Society with a dash of Good Will Hunting -- but WITHOUT Robin Williams -- and a happy ending. (What, it's a comedy! It's not like that's giving anything away.) And there are even MacGyver moments.

I was feeling a little curmudgeonly today, and going to see this movie definitely made me happy. For one, it stars Aamir Khan, whom I enjoy a lot, for a lot of reasons. He produced and starred in Lagaan, a fantastic film. And he's got some clown in his physicality, which means I totally enjoy watching him onscreen. (Plus he kinda reminds me of my Uncle Hessam.) And subject-matter-wise, like I said, 3 Idiots seemed to fit the moment. It's about three friends surviving college and an impromptu 10-year reunion -- and MY 10th is coming up as well; we were born in the same year, awww! (And did I mention I just had a birthday?)

Plus, how can you NOT love a movie that has cameos of both cartoon sperm and the CHICKEN DANCE?



Like Dead Poets' Society, 3 Idiots deals with a repressive educational system, only this one's more immediately practically-oriented: *these* students endure the heckling, the arcane traditions, and the vicious professors in order to graduate and directly get jobs as engineers. The money and the prestige is what they *seek* -- or what their parents seek for them -- not what they already have in order to attend.

The film takes place both in the present-ish, and 10 years from now. Our story opens as a bet is called in: the characters reunite 10 years after graduation. The guy who made the bet in the first place, and initiates the call, is Chatur, a fatuous, self-important asshole (played with slimy fabulousness by Omi Vaidya). He's that guy you love to hate, the school's number-one brownnoser who's mean to his classmates and will do anything to get ahead.

The good guys are the round-faced Farhan (R. Madhavan) and the slightly desperate-looking Raju (Sharman Joshi) -- but our real hero, Rancho (short for Ranchhoddas Shamaldas Chanchad and played of course by Aamir Khan) is nowhere to be found. His best friends haven't seen him in years, in fact -- but Chatur says he knows where Rancho is! is So the road trip begins, while we watch, in flashback, how their story began.

The subject matter is heavy -- the price of repressive education -- but, like Hirani's Munnabhai films, the treatment of that subject is light. Light not because the director *makes* light of serious events (quite the contrary), but because our heroes are funny people. For example, when describing Raju's family, our narrator Farhan says that they're like a 1950s black and white Hindi film: destitute family, mother who loves to complain, chubby unmarried daughter, and father who became paralyzed and had to stop working. As he's describing this, the director switches to black and white for the rest of the scene (and for every scene thereafter in the house). It's funny -- but it's not over-the-top slapstick funny, either; after all, it's a terrible situation! There's gallows humor mixed in, and we all know it's supposed to be there. Hirani stays on the right side of the line.

Similarly, the villain is just ridiculous enough to be funny in that boarding-school "let's all mock the schoolmaster" way, but he still retains enough status to be terrifying. Played by Boman Irani,* who also played the unhinged mobster villain Lucky Singh in Lage Raho Munna Bhai, professor "Virus" has poofy hair and a bushy moustache, a huge gut over which he pulls his white pants, a pronounced lisp, and a permanent snarl. His obsession with competition and efficiency starts out as a hilarious quirk, but quickly proves to have terrible, serious consequences for his students.

There *are* moments of over-the-top filminess, but they're on purpose when the characters are feeling silly, like the big "Bollywood" number here. (This movie is so new there's not much on YouTube -- gasp! -- but here's a preview.) Featuring Our Hero and his love interest Pia (Kareena Kapoor), who turns out to be Virus's daughter -- doh!
You can tell this is silly because during the chorus they're doing -- wait for it -- the chicken dance. THE chicken dance. The CHICKEN DANCE.


There's a love story, as featured in the clip above, but it's a side plot; the real story is the boys' friendship and what happens to them when Rancho, a genuinely curious, creative spirit, meets a system designed to make machines of them all. It's a fascinating glimpse of college in another familiar-yet-strange culture (they have houseboys, like at Oxford -- but the rooms are teensy!) and a continually-unraveling plot that just keeeeeeps twisting -- and pulling you along for the ride.

I really enjoyed this film. The chemistry between the boys is genuine and funny, the acting is good, the message makes me happy as an educator and an artist (be what you WANT when you grow up! be creative and learn for learning's sake!), it's funny and serious without getting too campy OR weepy (or too predictable) and Science Saves the Day! (Aamir Khan also makes a really believable young, awkward college student. Did you know he's like, forty?)

Verdict: Apparently, most critics agree with me: it's a good one! See it in the theater for additional community spirit!


*Interestingly, Boman Irani was also unrecognizeable as Murli/"M," fabulous gay magazine mogul, in Dostana. And not terrifying at all! I love me a good character actor.

Bollyween Movie of the Halloweek: Gumnaam

Because I'm sick sick sick today this Halloween (boo), instead of afternoon-Halloween-partying with roommates I'm at home with anguished lungs (boo), and I *finally* decided to watch this movie, lent to me by my pal Rebecca Stockley (hi Rebecca!). And it was WAY more Halloween-appropriate than I thought. So, with strange delirious Halloween glee, I present you with:

Gumnaam, 1965

Directed by: Raja Nawathe

Produced by: M.A. Madhu and N.N. Sippy

Starring: (in the era of the one-named star) Nanda, Manoj Kumar, Pran, Helen, Mehmood, Dhumal, Madan Puri, Tarun Bose, Manmohan, Naina

It's Kinda Like: Lost meets Agatha Christie meets Horror Movie with a Castle (parts reminded me of Young Frankenstein, even!), with a dash of Gilligan's Island

This movie is WEIRD. I guess it was 1965, what do you expect? The trailer proclaims it to be "India's First Suspense Thriller in Eastman Color," confusing -- is that a claim to fame, or just Eastman's claim to fame? Anyway -- it's a strange, looong, meandering thriller that owes a lot to Agatha Christia's manor-house style murder mysteries (Wikipedia mentions 10 Little Indians as an "uncredited" writing credit). Above all, I think I found it fascinating, if anything.

Rebecca bought the movie because they became fascinated with it, as did many Americans, after seeing one of its musical numbers as featured in the movie Ghost World:


This is actually the first musical number in the film, and it's almost the first thing that happens. (Note: this is NOT the weirdest musical number in the film.) A big bummer is that for whatever reason, lots of old Bollywood movies don't subtitle the songs, so you *still* don't know what's going on. Still, if they're staged appropriately, you can pretty much get the gist: "We're drunk and it's hilarious!" "C'mere, baby, I think you're cute!" "We're so in love!" or in the case of the opening number, "Jan Pehechaan Ho" apparently means, "Let's get to know each other!"

The crazy staging of this song is basically an excuse to set up the plot: seven strangers win a fabulous vacation on a chartered flight -- but oops, they're mysteriously stranded! Wandering through what seems to be a deserted island, they happen upon an opulent manor in the middle of nowhere. Yowza!

Of course, they find out that they've all been wrangled there for some purpose: all of them are criminals and will be picked off one by one! There's no host that they can see ("Gumnaam" apparently means "no one," or "lost one"), but taking care of their physical needs is a childish, clownish butler in a stripy T-shirt and plaid dhoti -- who seems to be mimicking India's Charlie Chaplin, Raj Kapoor. [edit: Google Books reveals a memoir from Mahmood, the actor, who confirms that indeed he's mimicking Raj Kapoor, Prithviraj Kapoor, and Randhir Kapoor. go me!]

The other things perfect for a campy Halloween viewing include a ruined church, a ghostly female voice, strange noises in the woods, and some bizarre comic wordplay -- and romance. Like lots of Bollywood films, this one's got something for everyone: love, comedy, danger, terribly-staged '60s fights (I'm stepping on your foot! No, I'M stepping on YOUR foot!), and oh yeah, the suspense plot -- people are dying! who's the murderer? why is no one who they seem to be? What is up with that 5-minute sequence at the beginning of the film where the guy gets murdered?!?

They don't seem terribly concerned by this whole murder thing, until people actually start dying. They're too concerned with ordering food, wandering around looking at the island, going swimming and gogo dancing on the beach, and chasing the Mary Ann ("Asha") and Ginger ("Miss Kitty") characters.

The plot -- and the film -- move at a pace common to movies of that era, where the shots are all so loooooooooooooong, and some of them are realllly reduuuundant. Yet, apparently this film was a box office hit. It takes its sweet time -- but on the other hand, it takes the time for people to really examine their situation: how would people trapped in this situation *actually* feel? Asha confides to her newfound love that before, she didn't really have a reason to fear death -- until now that she's got someone else to live for. Awwww.

The Verdict: Campy, confusing, and fascinating. Clearly not the best film ever -- but maybe for a group viewing with lots of heckling and drinking.

And okay: THIS is the weirdest musical number in the movie.
Hum Kale Hain Toh Kya Hua song - Gumnaam

Bollywood Movie of the Week: Lagaan

Lagaan, 2001

Directed by: Ashutosh Gowariker

Produced by: Aamir Khan and Jhamu Sughand

Narrated by: Amitabh Bachchan

Starring: Aamir Khan, Gracy Singh, Rachel Shelley, Paul Blackthorne

It's Kinda Like: Sports Movie meets Period Epic

Here's something you probably never thought you'd read: "Dude, this almost-four-hour subtitled movie about cricket is SO suspenseful! You GOTTA check it out, it's awesome!" And yet, I just wrote that. Dude. And you know who'll back me up? The American Film Academy: Lagaan was nominated for the Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film, in 2002. And quite a bit more anecdotal and less, say, impressive: when I was directing The Great Puppet Bollywood Extravaganza, Lagaan was on my list of recommended films to see, and everyone in my cast who saw it *also* thought it was amazing. So there.

Set in the Victorian period of the British Raj in India, the film is about the village of Champaner and the unreasonable taxes levied against their drought-ravaged fields ("lagaan" translates as "land tax"). Our hero musters the village to protest this year's *double* tax -- but the British Captain in charge of their district presents them with an unexpected challenge: beat his Britishers at a cricket match, and avoid paying the tax for three years! Lose the match, however, and pay *triple* this year.

Our hero is Bhuvan (played by one of the famous Khans -- Aamir, this time), a strapping young lad about the age to do something with his life. At the palace of the Raja, where the men come to formally protest the tax, Bhuvan gets into a fight with the British Captain when the villagers stop to gape at white-clad Brits playing what they consider to be a children's game. Male pride: see why the mean British Captain hates that village so much?

Back home, Bhuvan is responsible for putting together a motley crew of wannabe cricket players; despite their glib assertions that it's a simple children's game, they have almost no idea how to play and have never seen a match (one Sikh guy used to be a British soldier and has some small idea). And we're talking a *seriously* motley crew: faced with derision and opposition from most of the village, Bhuvan drafts an Untouchable, which causes everyone else on the team to quit. They are totally up the proverbial creek: it's a *ludicrous* challenge they've undertaken.

Meanwhile, tagging along at Bhuvan's heroic heels is Gauri (Gracy Singh), tomboyish childhood friend who's of course totally smitten with him (I mean, he's pretty hunky; who wouldn't be?). In return, he cheerfully gives her the runaround, which drives her crazy. Look how cute they are, in this film clip:



Who's that strange white lady, you ask? That's Elizabeth Russell, sister of the mean British captain. Appalled that her brother has trapped the village in an impossible situation, in a monstrous breach of Victorian propriety she sneaks away to help coach their scrappy team. And of course she falls for the hunky Bhuvan.

A large percentage of the film is taken up by that final cricket match, and it IS actually a gripping sequence. Rest assured the film teaches you enough that even complete cricket novices (like me!) will be able to follow the action.

Lagaan was made an interesting time for Bollywood: the films I've seen from the late '90s all seem much older than they are; there's a sort of line of modernity evident, somewhere in the late '90s to early 2000's. Lagaan certainly tries very hard to seem like a Western-hemisphere-made epic film: the film's narrated opening and zoomed-in map feel more like Hollywood than Bollywood. The film has an overall sense of self-conscious epic importance, which certainly works well for generating suspense over the outcome. It's a very earnest, serious period film. (I mean, there's definitely comedy mixed in -- but the film isn't Bollywood-Goofy.) And the musical numbers are snugly integrated into the environment of the film, springing directly from the action like this song about the hope of rain:



It's a pity that the poor Russell siblings, being non-Indians, are suffering from Speaking English Syndrome: it seems like non-Indian characters in Hindi films always come off like zombies, with bizarre stilted acting. And they've had plenty of work since then, according to IMDB, so it can't be that they're just terrible actors. Though in a film about shunning colonialism, I suppose you don't want the English to come off all that well. All in all, it's forgivable.

Verdict: See it! Strongly recommended -- though take a dinner break in the middle or something, cause this sucker's LONG.

Bollywood Movie of the Week: Dostana

Dostana, 2008

Directed by: Tarun Mansukhani

Produced by: Karan Johar, Prashant Shah

Starring: John Abraham, Abhishek Bachchan, Priyanka Chopra, Bobby Deol, Kirron Kher (world's best Bollywood mom!)

Notable songs: Desi Girl, Shut up and Bounce, Jaane Kyun, Khabar Nahi

It's Kinda Like: Three's Company (but in reverse) meets Friends, with a dash of Ugly Betty, and a tinge of Green Card.

Dostana, which means "Friendship," is a unique Bollywood film: it's the first Indian film in which issues of homosexuality, specifically male homosexuality, are not comic relief but instead the main plot. For India, this is a Big Fat Deal: homosexual sex was a criminal act until 2009. THIS YEAR. AFTER this movie was made. (It's also the first Indian movie filmed entirely in Miami, but that's less exciting -- though probably necessary, given the subject matter.)

It's a little racier than you might be used to in a Bollywood movie, too. But I saw it right when it opened, in a packed theater, and the audience totally loved it. The scenes where our heroes are discovered in Accidentally Compromising Positions got slightly *more* laughter than felt comfortable to me in the theater -- but we can cut India some slack.

It's a high-budget, slick modern campy comedy about hilarious attractive people who are too wealthy to have *actual* problems: the best kind of escapism! I totally enjoyed it; it's a little silly, but the comedy bits are very funny and the chemistry between the two male leads is fantastic. Abhishek Bachchan steals the show.

Let's be clear: none of the main characters are *actually* gay, which is established in one of those unexpectedly adultish sequences, after the opening credits. Nothing you wouldn't see in an American movie -- or even on TV -- but for Bollywood, it's like whoa!

Here's the very *first* thing you see of the movie: the title credit sequence, which neatly sums up the in-your-face sassy hawtness they wish to establish (starring Shilpa Shetty as the Item Girl -- she's just in this song, not the rest of the movie):


In this crazy fast world of Miami, the two main characters, Samir (Abhishek Bachchan) and Kunal (John Abraham) are both Indian expats, both coincidentally needing a place to live. They've met before (in the hilarious opening sequence after the credits) and they meet again, in an astronomically unrealistically awesome apartment for rent. But Aunty (played by the HIGH-larious baby-faced Sushmita Mukherjee) won't let any boys live there. No Boys Allowed!

The apartment is just too awesome to pass up, so they reluctantly decide to do something CRAZY: play gay in an attempt to get another chance at the rental. Only later do they discover that the *actual* tenant is not Aunty, but her superhot niece Neha (Priyanka Chopra). Oopsie!

Plus, despite the boys' mutual desire to spread the news of their gayness in order to protect their precious reputations, circumstances (Aunty's nosiness, residency papers, Neha's gay boss, etc) mandate that they "come out" to pretty much everyone. I'll let you imagine the eventual fallout (hint: someone in the cast is playing someone's MOM). Plus, they're both in love with Neha! Awwwkward. The boys make the best of it, and from the first, they spend absolutely every second together, and soon become a trio of best friends. Awwwww! Watch the adorableness as they first move in together (and check that apartment! crazy, right?):



As India's first gay movie, Dostana is definitely a maverick. Sometimes, like mentioned above, I wasn't sure whether I should be slightly offended sometimes on behalf of the gay community -- the gay characters are a little on the stereotypical flaming side -- but then again, it's Miami, right? And you do have to cut India some slack: confronting homophobia is a Big Deal! The characters in the film are indeed forced to confront personal prejudices -- though it's *definitely* a comedy first and foremost, not an "issues" movie. (The flashback sequence where the boys attempt to describe how they met may be campy, but it's also *so funny.*)

Anyway. I totally enjoyed it, in that "guilty pleasure" sorta way. Definitely a "fantasy" that takes place in Glamour World: Neha is a mucky-muck at an international magazine, Kunal is a fashion photographer, Sam is recently arrived from a posh life in London. The plot ventures slightly into the sappy and unrealistic at times (derrr, Sam, did you hire a professional photographer to take those pictures of you and Neha "alone?" Whaaaaa?) -- but that's excusable in the "sitcom" genre, which this film definitely falls into. Situational Comedy!

There are some high-larious references to other Bollywood pop culture (what Bollywood movie doesn't do this? as my roommate Heraldo said ironically upon watching this movie, "So I guess the second Bollywood film ever made, referenced the first one, and so on."), including a very funny scene mimicking Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham -- you don't have to get them to have the movie make sense, but it definitely adds to the modern Pop-Culture-Savvy Sitcom feel of this movie, overall.

Verdict: A "chick flick" about boys -- with hot chicks in it. Very funny and probably enjoyable for the general public. Plus, watching it makes you feel like you're helping the world become better people!

Bollywood Movie of the Week: Billu Barber

In honor of the song my Bollywood dance class is learning, plus the song I picked for the dance warmup for the Let It Snow! cast, I present:

Billu Barber, 2008

Directed by: Priyadarshan

Produced by: Gauri Khan

Starring: Irrfan Khan (aka the cop from Slumdog Millionaire and the villain from Aaja Nachle), Lara Dutta, Om Puri, Rajpal Yadav, Asrani, and of course Shahrukh Khan.

It's Kinda Like: Hard to say -- though Wikipedia tells me it's a retelling of the story of Krishna and Sudama. (Also that it's a Hindi remake of a 2007 Indian film made in the Mayalayam language.)

Billu Barber is a non-romance, and another film where Shahrukh Khan stars as a knowing parody of himself (see Om Shanti Om). If anything, it's a friendship romance, an unexpected storyline.

Billu (a guarded and put-upon Irrfan Khan) is a barber in a small Indian village. His daily life includes spending time with his wife and two young children, hanging out with his best friends, and generally trying to make ends meet. Until one day (!!), Sahir Khan (Shahrukh), the most famousest Bollywood movie star ever, comes to town to shoot a film.

Billu mentions that he's sort of friends with the famous Khan, but is unclear about the circumstances. Suddenly, it's like, whoa-- EVERYone wants to be his very bestest friend. Suddenly all kinds of people to whom he owes money are falling over themselves to be nice to him, all willing to make him deals for just one leeeettle meeting with the star. As you can imagine, things get way out of hand.

He starts to backtrack, unwilling to provide details, coming up with continual excuses why he can't set up a meeting, or why they've just missed him. It's a real dilemma: his children need to go to school, his barber shop is experiencing competition from the trendy barber next door, he owes money to important people--but he seems to regret ever making the comment in the first place. Soon his friends and family violently turn aGAINST him, even his wife and children. Poor Billu!

Do they really know each other? Will he have any friends at all by the end of the movie? Watch the movie and find out! Butcha don't have to take my word for it!

This was a fun movie, with gorgeous cinematography and a glowing color palette -- and Shahrukh Khan is really good-natured about his self-parody. He first enters the movie in a motorcycle cavalcade, surrounded by fire:


That clip, above, is indeed the music video from the movie, complete with all those ridiculous clips of "Sahir Khan's" awesome filmic feats -- AND, ALL of those are real clips from movies that Shahrukh Khan was ACTUALLY IN. (Cheap for the production company, huh? No need to film *fake* ridiculous movie footage when there's already years and years worth.) Fans will no doubt recognize at least some of them; *I* certainly did. Running from a helicopter? Check. Wearing a ridiculous mustache and jumping out of a fire? Check. Scoring a soccer goal in the rain? Check. Shirtless and surrounded by hot chicks fondling his killer abs? Check. HIGH-larious.

The film, while showcasing Billu's difficulties, really sets up the contrast between village life and Bollywood glamour, and the visual contrast really plays up the absurdity of Bollywood-land against the tiny but very real troubles of Billu and his family. The villagers constantly flock to watch Sahir Khan shooting on location, and every big dance number features another improbable set with ridiculous costumes and a different item girl. Here's one of the big, er, "hits" from the film (fake Star Wars costumes! I love it!):

Don't you love that? And here, for contrast, is what the rest of the film's world looks like, showcased nicely in the film's trailer (all in Hindi, but you can just look, it's pretty!):


(And Let It Snow! folks take note: this film is a great example of a story that, despite containing elements that definitely come from outside the town, revolves completely around the small fates of people who live in the town and aren't looking to get out. The story is about villagers who are essentially OF the village.)

The Verdict: Yay. A friends-romance, about the changes in relationships which already exist: Billu and his wife, his children, his pals, his enemies, etc. Irrfan Khan nicely holds down the lead, with Lara Dutt as his down-to-earth but still-ridiculously-beautiful wife. And the kids are funny. Yay.

Bollywood Movie(s) of the Week: The Sixties

This is good for at LEAST two weeks. I was working on choreography for a big Indian wedding that happened yesterday (congrats Ashish and Ranjeeta!), and an older couple gave me their song choice: a medley that included two numbers from the sixties. I had heard the songs before but never seen the movies, and wow -- the first of the two songs was really something. Shammi Kapoor, I feel I don't know enough about you, for you are awesome:



And in researching other kinds of sixties Bollywood dance, I came upon this fantastic montage made by a YouTube user. Here's part one of six; I recommend the whole series, for some fabulously weird entertainment brought to you by Bollywood of the sixties and seventies:



Enjoy!

Other Bollywood of the Week: Lage Raho Munna Bhai

Lage Raho Munna Bhai, 2006

Directed by: Rajkumar Hirani

Produced by: Vidhu Vinod Chopra

Starring: Sanjay Dutt, Arshad Warsi, Vidya Balan, Boman Irani, Dilip Prabhavalkar

It's Kinda Like: Comedy gangster movie meets Guy Pretends to be a Professional _____ meets Guy Is Reborn as Prophet movie

Most of these movies I've been reviewing (and seeing) have tended to be of the Romantic Comedy/Drama/Musical variety. Hard to tell whether that's due to my general proclivities, or the tastes of the Bollywood film industry at large (I think it's probably the former, but who knows). BUT this one is different.

Okay, it's kind of a romantic comedy. BUT it's also a comedy gangster film! It's a sequel, apparently, to the first Munna Bhai film. (At my library, you gotta grab from the Hindi section quick; high high demand means there never seems to be the same thing there twice.) And, let me ask you this: how many comedy gangster films involve a guy seeing the ghost of Gandhi? GANDHI. This is probably the most philosophical comedy gangster film you will ever see.

Sanjay Dutt (who kind of reminds me of a chunky Indian Bruce Willis) plays Munnabhai, friendly and personable underworld denizen, a guy who, you know, gets stuff done. He and his short, gold-chain-wearing, trigger-happy sidekick Circuit (yes, Circuit) do things like, you know, obtain property illegally and otherwise take care of business on the shady streets of Mumbai. And, they also have comically misunderstood adventures: apparently in the first Munna Bhai movie, he masquerades as a doctor in order to save face with his family back home.

In this film, they're charged with obtaining the deed to some land, in order to make a big deal with a developer. But Munnabhai is distracted: he's in luuuuururrrrve! Every day he drives his bike out to the pier and listens to the radio show hosted by Jhanvi (Vidya Balan), who of course begins her show with "GoooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING MUMBAAAAIII!" (Ah, the borrowing.)

One day, Jhanvi announces that there's going to be a quiz contest about Gandhi, on the day honoring his birth, and the winner gets to meet her and go on the air! Of course Munnabhai MUST win. So Circuit rounds up a bunch of Gandhi experts (at gunpoint, of course), and menial thugs to dial handfuls of phones each, and this vast operation ensures that Munnabhai will win!

Of course, on air he ends up pretending he's a professor of Gandhi studies (like one of the guys they had rounded up), and then of course, impressed by his vast knowledge, she invites him to give a talk about Gandhi at the house where she lives with her "children": her father and a bunch of other elderly men he's taken in, who are alone or who have been rejected or neglected by their successful children. This place is called "Second Innings House," and the prevailing spirit is, go for broke -- you only have one life to live, and you're still alive, right?

In order to cram for his Gandhi talk, he goes to the Gandhi library and reads for days and days until - - - Gandhi himself appears! With an invisible Gandhi in tow, he heads slightly more confidently to her house.

This is where the film begins to transition more strongly from Comedy Gangster Film to Philosophical Comedy, and becomes much the better for it. Munnabhai, with the prospect of gaining the woman he loves, and the confidence of an invisible guru, begins living for and inspiring the principles by which Gandhi lived. I don't think I'll ever see another comedy that so eloquently displays the principles of nonviolence and passive resistance.

Of course, along the way there are hilarious shenanigans involving him pretending to be a bigshot professor; it's still a comedy, after all! And, although it doesn't really come through in the subtitles, Munnabhai and pals speak in slangy, vulgar Mumbai street dialect, which further belies his claims to be a scholar. That slangy dialect is apparently what made the film so popular and Gandhi-ism so cool and relevant for the Kids Of Today.

Because apparently (according to everyone's best source, Wikipedia), the film "has had a strong cultural impact in India, popularising Gandhism under Munna Bhai's notion of Gandhigiri [his word describing Gandhi's principles]. As noted by critics, the film has 'stirred the popular imagination,' leading to a number of Gandhigiri protests in India and in the United States." Neat, huh? Comedy as social change.

By living unstintingly by Gandhi's teachings, Munnabhai deals with his own problems -- his budding romance, his task of illegal repossession, his crazy violent boss (the very funny Lucky Singh, played by Boman Irani) -- as well as the problems of other people in the city, both in the Second Innings house, and across Mumbai via his OWN new call-in radio program.

(And oh yeah, there are songs too, which are mostly cute and funny, and shoehorned in there because you have to have songs in a movie. Like this one:)

Verdict: I gotta say, I thought this movie would be pretty dumb, and it kept getting both funnier and better as it went on. I plan to see the first one, just to get some background, but this movie definitely stands on its own without the first, as a comedy and as a film about sticking to your guns (ha ha) and changing your community with honesty and nonviolence. I know, whaaa? But seriously. I enjoyed it!

Bollywood Movie of the Week: Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi

Rab ne bana di jodi, 2008

Directed and written by: Aditya Chopra

Produced by: Yash Raj Films

Starring: Shahrukh Khan, Anushka Sharma, Vinay Pathak

Notable Songs: Dance pe Chance, Phir Milenge Chalte Chalte, Haule Haule

It's Kinda Like: Any of those movies where the dork gets a cool makeover, plus any of those movies where the girl is involved with two people who happen to be the same guy.

(I missed last week what with a crazy schedule, so you get two this week. Booyah!)
(That is, assuming anyone reads this besides my mom. Hi mom!)

A modern Bollywood with, as the critics say, a touch of the old: comedy plus melodrama equals that guilty-pleasure frisson of awesomeness. And bonus: you get to see Shahrukh Khan dressed up like a Total Dork AND a Super Hot Douchebag in the same movie!

Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi's entire plot is set off by an event that could only take place (at all realistically, anyway) in a place where arranged marriages are still culturally acceptable. (It happens in the first five minutes of the movie, so I can tell you about it.) Surinder (Shahrukh Khan) is the all-time favorite student of an old professor, who invites Suri to his daughter's wedding. Seeing her dancing and shouting and making last-minute wedding preparations, Suri falls instantly and silently in love with her.

The groom's family, however, is killed on the way to the wedding! The news literally gives Taani's father a heart attack, and on his deathbed he suggests that Surinder, his solid-citizen favorite student, marry his daughter instead, who would otherwise be left bereft and destroyed.

And thus the opening shots of the film, silent, poignant, and awwww-inspiring. SRK's awkward, well-meaning physicality is understatedly adorable and heartrending. Meanwhile, the poor bride, decked out in her finery, wearily and warily eyes the dingy streets of Amritsar and her unceremonious new home.

I found this movie, in concept and execution, interesting because it focuses on a character we don't get to see much: the average middle-class tech worker. Shahrukh Khan, with a simply atrocious haircut and moustache, plays Surinder "Suri" Sahni, a tech support employee for Punjab Power: "Lighting up your life!" He's shy, quiet, polite, self-effacing, not exactly a snappy dresser, and pretty much completely unattractive (O the bright white sneakers with highwater khakis! O the too-large tucked-in button-down shirt with pens in the pocket! SO delightful!). He resembles nothing so much as someone's embarrassing unfashionable dad, rather than the superhot cool dude he usually plays.

And, he allows us a glimpse into at least a vision of middle-class India. Granted, he has a probably-gay hairdresser for a best friend (how did that happen, exactly?), but his office mates, prairiedogging over the cube walls, are fantastically normal, boring office mates (why is that one guy in a neck brace? I LOVE that touch.). He rides a tiny scooter to his boring job, and showers outside under a tap. Whether or not it's true to life, I cannot say, not having been to India, but the humdrum unglamorous picture is intriguing nonetheless.

Another thing that I enjoyed about this movie, following from the previous point, is the way Suri's songs are staged, woven through the everyday world like a train of thought surfacing and then ducking back into the unconscious. Colorful dancers appear, invisible to everyone but him. His personal dance moves, IMDB tells me, were mostly improvised, which results in a lovely sense of personal spontaneous joy echoed by the burst of color invisible to an ignorant public.

Check out the video for Haule Haule, and you'll see what I mean:


And then, of course, there's his Sassy Alter Ego. It arises in a slightly different way than these things usually do in this type of film. He's ALREADY married to her, so he doesn't have to "win" her in order to have her. But, he's so shy and lovestruck he can't really talk to her -- so when she comes out of her shell enough to request money for a Bollywood dance class, he asks his pal Bobby to help him create an alter ego -- just so he can watch her dance and be happy. Of COURSE, things get out of control, and chance -- or divine intervention -- make them dance partners.

"Rab ne bana di jodi" loosely translates as "A match made in heaven," or "A couple chosen by god." There's an interesting interplay between love as dictated by the gods, and love as portrayed in Bollywood films -- self-referential, eh? One of Taani's few joys is going to see films with her husband, which is where the whole dressing-up idea springs from. There's the dance class, which is specifically a Bollywood class. There's Shahrukh Khan himself, as "Raj Kapoor," the loud, obnoxious, flirtatious dance partner he names remembering a character in a film they saw together (which has a HIGH-larious fight scene, by the way, in which the hero fights off the gang WITH his girlfriend -- and I don't mean side by side, he's literally WIELDING her). And how many filmi heroes have there been named Raj or Kapoor or both? Exactly. Not to mention Raj Kapoor himself, a famous actor and director.

Even Raj's catch phrase, "Hum Hain Rahi Pyar Ke, Phir Milenge Chalte Chalte" is a melange of three movie titles, all starring famous Khans, one of them Shahrukh himself. And the song that bears that name is a tour through the history of Bollywood film romance (see 2007's Om Shanti Om for another great example of that kind of song). The number also features a bunch of star Bollywood women, here for their item number.

Here's the video of the song, which begins with early Bollywood and a tribute to the REAL Raj Kapoor, India's Charlie Chaplin. Literally. He's essentially Charlie Chaplin, people. Only his hat is shaped differently. (how I love the culture of borrowing! ;o)


The title/refrain of that song essentially says: "We take different forms, and we're travelling down the road of love; down the road we'll meet again." Indicating, you know, that it's inevitable they'll end up happy in one lifetime or other. But does it mean because of god, or because of the movies? After all, it's Taani's daydream in which the whole song sequence takes place; is her subconscious trying to show her that Raj is a trickster who takes many forms and therefore . . . . . . ?

Of course she has to choose between them at SOME point, though I found that events shook out slightly less predictably than they could have. For instance: who would guess this movie would feature sumo wrestling? Or a motorcycle chase? But it does. There's a whoole lot more movie than featured here, folks. And like I find in most Bollywood, sometimes the silliest characters show more dignity and depth than you would expect, even the boorish Raj. Neither of the two men behaves perfectly well OR perfectly badly, leaving Taani with a truly tough choice. Good thing they're both the same guy, right?

I love the scene right before intermission where a drunken Raj is addressing his own alter ego. Monologues in Bollywood = something most Western movies don't have time for (or at least no time for one per emotional moment), but that really plumb the depths of characters in unexpected ways. Sometimes things can be cheesy AND profound, people! Embrace the cheese. Love the cheese.

Verdict: Fascinating culturally, for all the everyday stuff as well as the religious stuff (the famous Golden Temple of Amritsar is so pretty!). And a fun mix of film styles: Symbolic Indie Film, Rollicking Comedy, and a healthy portion of Romantic Melodrama all rolled into one.

Bollywood Movie of the Week: Om Shanti Om

Om Shanti Om, 2007

Directed (and Choreographed) by: Farah Khan
Produced by: Gauri Khan

Starring: Shahrukh Khan, Deepika Padukone, Kirron Kher, Shreyas Talpade, Arjun Rampal, Yuvika Choudhary, and a million zillion cameos by other stars.

Songs: Ajab Si, Dhoom Tana, Dard e Disco, Main Agar Kahoon, Deewangi Deewangi

It's Kinda Like: Singin' in the Rain meets Austin Powers meets Hamlet. No kidding.

I love love this movie. And at the wedding I was at this weekend, all my friends at my end of the rehearsal dinner table had seen it too! What the fish! I think it's a great entree into Bollywood (high-budget and truly entertaining), plus a lot of fun for fans of the genre and/or fans of movies and moviemaking in general. And my dad loves the soundtrack, even though he's never seen the movie. (Hi dad!)

The basic idea: The first half of the movie takes place in the seventies, with FAHbulously HIGHlarious costumes to boot. The second act takes place in the present, in the world of Bollywood movers and shakers, where Om reincarnated must solve the mystery of his memories, and right a wrong.

The first act plot is a love letter to Singin' in the Rain. Talking with the beloved on the billboard (which is a CUT SCENE from Singin' in the Rain, no less!), going to a film screening and watching stars on the red carpet, going on a date in the sound studio, funny antics as an extra on set, a bright green dress -- even that weird dream sequence with the sunset and the steps and the veil makes an appearance!

Check out these parallel scenes. You can see how Om Shanti Om's scene takes the ideas in Singin' in the Rain and runs with them. (And I have to say, Gene Kelly is WITHOUT QUESTION the better dancer of the two, BUT the Shahrukh Khan scene still holds up to comparison -- I love this scene, but I've always thought "You Were Meant For Me" was the most boring song in this great movie. Sorry, GK.)

And just so you have no language bias, I'm embedding the Singin' in the Rain clip that's in French. It also just so happens to be the only one with the whole scene in it.





Okay, so that was sort of the mushy part -- but even as hinted here, Om Shanti Om is quite funny, especially the first half. Om (Shahrukh Khan) and his pal Pappu (Shreyas Talpade) have great buddy chemistry, and Om's mom (everyone's favorite Bollywood mom, Kirron Kher) expertly chews up the scenery as an overdramatic and crafty "filmi ma." The boys are scrappy extras jonesing to be stars, and their quickfire quips and upstaging antics are well-executed.

The second act is set in the present, making this one of those films in which Shahrukh Khan parodies himself and his own ridiculous level of stardom (see Billu Barber for another example). Om is reborn in Act II as the very thing he'd always wanted to be: a major film star -- the son, in fact, of his hero, seventies heartthrob Rajesh Kapoor, brush brush (Javed Sheikh). Though the second act (as the Bollywood formula goes) is where the Grand Drama happens, it's also got comedy built in, like the bits featuring Om as spoiled mega-star. For example, cast in an over-the-top tragic film (blind, mute, missing limbs, confined to a wheelchair, Om Kapoor -- known to his fans as "OK" -- demands the only possible kind of musical number that will, in his opinion, save this pathetic boring flop: disco.

And yes, this is supposed to be ridiculous (somebody throw some water on those ABS):


Om Shanti Om is both a well-made film, with great attention to detail, *and* a love letter to film past and present. For general film fans, it's fun to see the filmmaking process lampooned, with fussy directors, goofy stars, scene-stealing extras, and forbidding producers.

For Bollywood fans, the film is chock-full of references (I'm not pretending to have gotten them all by any means). The musical sequence "Dhoom Tana" is a journey through Bollywood film styles, complete with CGd-in film stars of old. Plus there's the Veritable Pantheon of 42 Bollywood stars who make cameos, many starring as themselves, from Amitabh and Abhishek Bachchan to Zayed Khan. The second half has a very funny sequence at the Filmfare awards, featuring red carpet interviews with many of these stars, and then the awards ceremony itself with all the "films" that are up for awards. And IMDB tells me there are plenty of other things you might notice if you're a big Bollywood fan . . .

I hate giving away plot, so I tried not to. It's more fun for YOU that way. See how I neatly failed to explain just *why* Om gets reincarnated? You'll have to watch it to find out. Aw snap!

Verdict: Good-natured comedy and High Drama together in one slick package. And with the past versus the present, it's two movies in one! It's a movie to see, for sure. My heart is full of the pain of disco!

Plus the ending credits are great. When else do you get to see the grips and the spot boys walk down the red carpet?

Bonus: If you're looking for hilarious yet obscure catch phrases (and isn't everybody?), you can find some here. (Mind it! What the fish?)

Bollywood Movie of the Week: Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge

Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge
(trans. loosely as The Lover Will Carry the Bride Away, 1995)

Directed by: Aditya Chopra
Produced by: Yash Chopra
Starring: Shah Rukh Khan and Kajol (hey, I was in a movie with them! and so was Dave. Woot!)

It's Kinda Like: The first half is like Guys and Dolls, the second half is like . . . it's stretching, but like Oceans Eleven with love instead of money. And with only one guy instead of eleven.

If you're unfamiliar with Bollywood and want to see a really entertaining example of the genre (an old-school or maybe mid-school one; things have changed a LOT since 1995), this is definitely one to see. It's one of the highest-grossing Hindi movies of all time, I think the longest-running (700 weeks straight in theaters, according to Wikipedia -- that's 13 and a half years!!!), it won ten Filmfare awards the year it came out, AND it's genuinely a whole lot of fun to watch.

Like the film that came out the year before, Hum Aapke Hain Koun...! (stay tuned for a review of that one, also a major major hit), Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge is like spending the weekend with someone's enormous, hilarious family. DDLJ is a little lighter on the melodrama (there still is some -- this is Bollywood, after all!); more hijinks and it travels farther outside the family home, from London to Europe and then to India.

The Plot: Raj (SRK) is the spoiled, charming, freewheeling son of a millionaire, while Simran (Kajol) is the daughter of a fiercely patriotic Punjabi convenience store owner -- both of them born and raised in London. Simran has been betrothed since birth to the son of her father's best friend in India; as the film opens, her father receives a letter saying, "It's time!" Simran has dreams of an unseen perfect boyfriend, but is pretty resigned to her arranged marriage -- but she wants one last fling: her friends have bought tickets for a month-long Eurail tour of Europe, and she wants to go.

Guess who else is on that tour? Bingo! Raj (and some hilarious friends, including a young, pudgy-faced "Robbie," played by Karan Johar -- hey! Dave and I were in a movie directed by that guy! ;o). Raj, the determined womanizer, fixes his eye on Simran as a challenge (or hey, her friends will do), while she specifically tries to deflate him at every turn. (See? Like Guys and Dolls.) He's so maddeningly carefree, it's hard to tell when he's being serious for a change. In this dance number early in their overseas tour, she's just called his bluff: overhearing him claim to be a fantastic piano player in order to hit on her friend, she walks up onstage and announces, "We have an amazing piano player in the house. Let's hear it for him!" And waits for him to be keeeeenly embarrassed . . .



Something goes wrong, and of course they're stuck traveling alone together. And guess what happens. Hey, you're smart! But before things really come to a head, the trip ends and they part with a handshake, a declined invitation to her wedding, and no real closure. Simran gushes to her mom about the great guy she met, and OOPS, now that her true love is real and not imaginary, he's dangerous. Bang! Dad picks up the whole family and they move straightaway back to India.

And then the second half of the film is the OTHER fun part! Back in India, with the hilarious huge family she's never met -- and her weirdo hunter-cum-greaser fiance. Guess who ends up there as well? And his plot to carry her off (hence the title) is ingenious and fun to watch unfold. The plot is essentially: to NOT CARRY HER OFF. You'll see.



Part of the fun of this movie (like HAHK) is that people are mostly so NICE to each other. Aside from Simran's tall, imposing father (Amrish Puri) with the bug-eyed glare so intense as to be highly comic, all the characters interact on a teasing, slapstick-y level that seems antagonistic at times, but feels, overall, very SAFE. Even Raj's dad (the adorably round-faced Anupam Kher) is totally supportive of his bride-stealing plan, and comes to help out! Everyone is the Marx Brothers, except that there are forty of them. Amidst a very comic cast, Shah Rukh Khan is hilarious, and oh so reassuring, and this film is generally agreed to be one of his (and Kajol's) best performances.

Never fear: there are moments of danger, tragedy, and violence. But you know that everything will be OK, and that people will continue to take care of each other no matter what happens.

Verdict: Delightful. Hilarious, awwww-inducing, and generally quite delightful. Watch it, and be delighted.